A Boys’ Mama

IMG_9937throwback to last summer

For whatever reason, as far back as I can remember thinking about having my own family and my own children, I only ever pictured myself surrounded by little boys.  Its not to say that I wouldn’t be happy if I had a little girl, but I just never saw myself as a “girls’ momma”.  Maybe its because I enjoy running and playing soccer, or because in high school I tried to avoid drama and gossip.  Or maybe because I was bullied pretty badly by other girls in elementary school and began to identify more with boys, while being weary of other girls, especially the ones that ran in large all-girl circles.  Whatever the reason, I always saw myself as a “boys’ mama” and now it looks like that is what will happen.

Having a son has been so amazing.  Challenging at times too, the amount of energy that Johannes has is enviable yet tiring.  I love the wrestling and the running back and forth in the house.  Putting together Lego’s and pretending to be a train.  I think by this point I’ve read every car, train, and airplane book that exists, watched Cars and Thomas the Train more times than I can even count and heard a firm “NO” every time I suggested we watch Frozen or The Little Mermaid.

But you know the most amazing part of being a boys’ mama is when Johannes looks up at me from his train table in the morning and un-prompted tells me he thinks I’m pretty.  Or when he wraps his arms around my neck before bed time and refuses to let me go, while whispering “mommy, you’re my best friend”.  Maybe a daughter would do all these same things, but sometimes I like to think its special just to our relationship.

I am so looking forward to raising strong emotionally aware men.  Men who respect other men and other women, who aren’t afraid to show their emotions and who love to ask how others are feeling.  Men who will one day be fathers and grandfathers and father’s in law.  In a few short months I get to start anew with a fresh little baby boy human! 4 months to go and I think its going to fly by!

 

Bits + Pieces According to my iPhone

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This week was the start of a new tradition I think, playing Candyland after dinner. I bought the game on a whim about a week ago and I never imagined how much fun Johannes would have with it all. Surprisingly he has incredible luck and seems to win 9/10 times (without the modified rules), leaving Michael and I to battle it out for second and third. Oh and also exciting, I’m officially at the half way mark of this pregnancy! How did that happen?

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Bits + Pieces According to my iPhone

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Eeeee! What at exciting week. Yesterday we had our anatomy scan and found out we are having another little boy! He’s amazing and healthy and has ten fingers and ten toes. I can’t ask for anything better. Neither Michael nor I have siblings of the same gender so we are entering unchartered waters and we couldn’t be more excited for it. Johannes is pretty excited too. He pushed us to clean out the office of all our extra furniture and office books, and helped his dad set up the baby crib. My doctor also gave me the thumbs up to start running again and I managed to squeeze out two jogs which felt so good. It’s been a fantastic week, and really I have nothing at all to complain about. If only every week was this good!

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Thinking About My Birth Plan

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I am going to assume that you haven’t read my birth story with Johannes, and that you haven’t been following along for long enough to know how it all went down.  So here is the Coles notes version.  I went into labour naturally at 2 weeks past my due date.  After 20 hours in labour or so my labour stopped progressing and Johannes’ heart rate dropped so the doctors rushed me to the OR and performed an emergency C-section.  The experience, although it had a happy ending, left me feeling confused, weak, and full of doubts in my abilities as a mother.  That was then.

Now, three years have passed and I am confident that my birth experience with Johannes did and does not define me as a mother.  I have accepted the past as a beautiful day when my son was born healthy and safe and have moved on with re-gained strength.

As I near the half way mark of this second pregnancy I am starting to think about how I want this second labour to go, realizing that plans don’t always work out, and knowing the only positive outcome is a healthy safe one.

I was thrown a bit for a loop when my OB suggested to me that I try a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section).  I had incorrectly assumed that once I had a C-section I would have to have one again.  But that is not the case.  I have a choice.  Not only that but my doctor, my OB, the person I trust with my health during this time is actually encouraging me to take the VBAC route.  My first reaction was one of shock and confusion, since I had come to terms with going for surgery once more.  However the more I thought about it the more I realized I really want to have a natural birth.  I want that experience too.  For one its safer than surgery, shorter recovery which would be invaluable with having Johannes at home, and less time in the hospital.  That goes without mentioning that being an active part in my son or daughter’s birth would be incredible.  Being the first person to hold my baby, being able to smell them right away and cuddle them for the first time.  I don’t know what that’s like, I never had a chance to experience it with Johannes.  And while I don’t regret a single thing about my first birth experience, I do wish my second one to be different.

So that is where I am at now.  I am optimistic and confident, hopeful and excited to get to meet this second little person who will fill our family with life and happiness.  And in the meantime I am reading some of Ina May Gaskin’s books and birth stories to gain a different perspective on the birth experience.

Anyone have a story they’d like to share??  Sharing experiences is my favourite way to learn.

Bits and Pieces According to my iPhone

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Yoga, cooking and socializing were the themes this week. I have an ever growing list of things I want to accomplish and this week I finally managed to check off a few of them.

Admittedly I am not much of a yoga fan. I usually find it too slow paced and I am horribly stiff so the stretches often feel torturous. But something happens to me during pregnancy and I begin to crave the practice. Maybe it’s the lack of exercise of the aching joints. Or maybe I crave being in a room full of other pregnant women. Whatever the reason may be, I have had joining a prenatal yoga class at the very top of my to do list since I found out I was pregnant. This past Sunday I finally had the opportunity to join an early morning class, and I did it with a friend I have long neglected, so it was a win win in my books. Of course I LOVED the class and I fully intend on being back every week…so much so that I committed to a class pass.

*thank you Kimberly and Diala for the photos of J and I!*

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