After months and weeks of waiting and wondering. Dreaming and excitement, Magnus Valentin joined our family on September 9. He was 9.45lbs, 1 week past his due date and full of personality.
I decided months ago to try my hardest for a VBAC after my emergency Cesarian with Johannes. But at 41 weeks pregnant and with no labour on the horizon I made the decision to schedule a csection. Risking another emergency Cesarian was not at all appealing to me, and I decided that I wanted a controlled environment rather than the unknown. So this birth story is very different from the last.
The night before my csection, my mom took Johannes and Michael and I enjoyed a nice dinner out just the two of us. We woke up early the next day, cleaned up a bit, packed our car and left for the hospital. Unlike my first csection, this one wasn’t filled with anxiety, worry and fear. My biggest concern that day was more or less how I would personally handle the proceedure and less the fear that my son wouldn’t be born alive. And let me tell you, that’s a huge HUGE thing.
The doctors and nurses were relaxed and chatty. They introduced themselves and took their time to explain what would happen. Michael came into the OR as soon as my spinal tap was complete, and held my hand. Within a few minutes and feeling some pulling and tugging, our son was born. The hospital we chose to give birth at implemented a new program where skin to skin is allowed between the mom and baby as soon as he is born. My hands were not tied down like the last time, and the curtain was drawn much lower on my chest so I could have Magnus on me right away. It was so lovely to experience that. I remember feeling like an eternity before I could see or hold Johannes, it was torture. I had skin to skin time with my baby boy until it was time to wheel me out of the OR, at which point they handed him to Michael to bring along.
Once in recovery we had over an hour of skin to skin with our son. He latched perfectly right away and nursed with no issue. Ahh the smell and deliciousness of a fresh baby is just the most amazing thing ever. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Recovery was much quicker this time also. Without the prior 20+ hours of labour my body seems to have healed faster.
Now for the bad parts. I really don’t react well to any type of anesthetic. The spinal made me horribly nauseated, and I was unable to eat or drink anything for about 20hours after surgery. I just couldn’t hold water down. And the itching. I couldn’t stop that. But unlike at Johannes’ birth I was aware of Magnus’. I savoured every minute and was able to really focus on him and his sweetness.
I am so grateful to have this little in my life, and to have been able to carry him to term and beyond. I have no regrets, no guilt, just joy and admiration for what a mom’s body can do to produce a human life. I think the key for me was not having too many expectations of myself. Letting the pregnancy dictate the outcome, while taking into account the risks to both mine and my baby’s health.