Hello Blog…its me, Ana

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Does anyone read blogs anymore?  Or has everything moved over to Instagram now?  I ask this after an interesting conversation I had last week.  More and more I see people commenting on my Instagram posts referencing my blog posts.  So I guess some of you do read it, but is it just easier to comment on Instagram?  Is it because I can respond quicker?  Does it seem more accessible?  I am truly curious and intrigued.  I often wonder about the future of blogs, will people still be reading them 5 years from now?  I wonder too about the future of Instagram.  The microblogging platform is slowly becoming a mega marketing avenue for brands and shops all over the world.  What will happen when “they”, the power house at Facebook, decide to really capitalize on use.  Will people have to start paying for posts to be published, to reach our audience?  Will users start to back away from Instagram, like they do with Facebook?

I have a theory…I believe Instagram has replaced blogs on some level today.  But I believe that as more and more advertisements appear on Instagram and as the company tries to monetize on their ever growing popularity, people will start to back away from the social media platform and go back to the blog of the old.  I know that I for one am more and more turned off by Facebook, to the extent that I barely ever use it anymore.  The things that turn me off of Facebook are precisely the things that Instagram/Facebook would like to implement on Instagram as well.  For now my blog is still my own, controlled by me and accessible to all with no rules or restrictions getting in the way.  So here I am blog followers…are you still out there?

brothers

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Michael and I both have siblings, but they’re siblings of the opposite gender.  Michael has a sister, and I have a brother.  We don’t know what its like to have siblings that are the same as us and we’re not exactly sure what to expect.

I had worries before we brought Magnus home with us, that maybe Johannes wouldn’t want to have him around, or that maybe he would be jealous, but so far my fears have not materialized.  Brothers, it would seem, is a great fit for all of us.  Johannes loves his little brother, and wants to do everything for him and with him.  I hope that Magnus as he grows, will love Johannes back.

Maybe they will be best friends.  Best men at each other’s weddings.  Maybe they will want to share a room some day, or rent an apartment together in their twenties.  Maybe they will start a business together, or decide to live on the same street.  I’m pretty excited to grow old and learn more about their relationship.  I think these boys are going to teach us a whole lot about relationships and brotherly bonds.

Thanksgiving

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Canadian Thanksgiving came and went last weekend, and it was baby boy’s first holiday with our crazy bunch.  I had planned a whole bunch of activities for both the kids and ourselves.  Friday we were going to head out of town to a little farm, Johannes wanted to ride the tractor and pick apples, and I “selfishly” wanted a photo with the boys and the pumpkin patch.

Saturday we were going to can our leftover garden tomatoes, Johannes was very excited to help.  And Sunday we were going for our big family meal at my mom and dad’s.

But when we arrived at the farm on Friday morning, showered, fed and ready to enjoy the gorgeous fall day, I noticed Johannes wasn’t himself.  After thirty or so minutes of trying to play and walk I finally convinced him to head to grandma’s nearby and have a nap, hoping he was just tired and we could resume our fun later on in the day.  Unfortunately by the time we got to my mom’s he had a full blown fever, and was complaining of nausea.  Yep, the stomach flu has made its annual appearance.

And so the rest of our holiday plans were altered but still fun.  Johannes didn’t want to come back home in the car, feeling as awful as he did, so he spent a couple of days with his grandparents and we got to pick him up on Sunday when we gathered for the family dinner.  We even managed a little walk, and Johannes rode his car.  He was definitely well enough to go “super fast” as he calls it.

Why is it that we only make pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving?!  I think we need to make it more often because its by far my favourite kind of pie.

At Home

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I have a brief moment to sit down and blog this morning, and feeling pretty proud of myself for getting out two posts this week! I think some celebratory champagne is in order during nap time today.

Johannes has a cold, nothing serious just sneezing and coughing. At least there’s no fever. And I’m trying my best to keep him and Magnus away from one another in hopes that he won’t catch this virus. So far so good I think.

My best friends during this time are my mom, who is here to help, the iPad, which is playing Bob the builder on repeat and the baby swing, which keeps Magnus busy when I need two hands to wipe runny noses or make snacks. Oh and a whole wack load of hand sanitizer.

The biggest surprise to me is how calm I am. When Johannes got his first cold I totally freaked out. I sat up all night, I worried, I fussed. But this time, even with the prospect of having a sick newborn in the house, I’m not too worried. I know that colds will come and go and there’s only so much I can do about it. I suppose that’s what happens the second time around, less stress, more confidence. It’s a nice change.

Let’s hope the cold passes quickly and we can all get back to a regular routine.

the first 14 days

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Its been a bit of a whirlwind, mostly good with a little bit of bad.  My recovery physically has been pretty good, much easier than it was after Johannes’ birth.  Or perhaps maybe my memory isn’t what it used to be.

We’ve had our highs and lows as its to be expected.  The biggest surprise has been Johannes.  He’s amazing with his little brother, he loves him so much.  No jealousy whatsoever at least not yet.  Our challenges are my lack of patience.  Be it hormones, lack of sleep or a combination of both, I find myself being really short with Johannes sometimes without a real cause.  Usually this leads to an intense feeling of guilt and a major crying fit.  The guilt was something I underestimated but its a pretty powerful emotion.

And then of course there’s the blues.  They came with a  vengeance as they did the last time, but that’s a complicated story to tell, and one I’m not completely ready to share just yet.  I can say though that I’m in the throws of it as we speak, but I’m hoping it will ease up soon.

I am eager to get back into a routine of sorts. Today my shower was a small victory, as was feeding two boys at the same time. Its the little things right?!

Magnus’ Birth Story

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After months and weeks of waiting and wondering.  Dreaming and excitement, Magnus Valentin joined our family on September 9.  He was 9.45lbs, 1 week past his due date and full of personality.

I decided months ago to try my hardest for a VBAC after my emergency Cesarian with Johannes.  But at 41 weeks pregnant and with no labour on the horizon I made the decision to schedule a csection.  Risking another emergency Cesarian was not at all appealing to me, and I decided that I wanted a controlled environment rather than the unknown.  So this birth story is very different from the last.

The night before my csection, my mom took Johannes and Michael and I enjoyed a nice dinner out just the two of us.  We woke up early the next day, cleaned up a bit, packed our car and left for the hospital.  Unlike my first csection, this one wasn’t filled with anxiety, worry and fear.  My biggest concern that day was more or less how I would personally handle the proceedure and less the fear that my son wouldn’t be born alive.  And let me tell you, that’s a huge HUGE thing.

The doctors and nurses were relaxed and chatty.  They introduced themselves and took their time to explain what would happen.  Michael came into the OR as soon as my spinal tap was complete, and held my hand.  Within a few minutes and feeling some pulling and tugging, our son was born.  The hospital we chose to give birth at implemented a new program where skin to skin is allowed between the mom and baby as soon as he is born.  My hands were not tied down like the last time, and the curtain was drawn much lower on my chest so I could have Magnus on me right away.  It was so lovely to experience that.  I remember feeling like an eternity before I could see or hold Johannes, it was torture.  I had skin to skin time with my baby boy until it was time to wheel me out of the OR, at which point they handed him to Michael to bring along.

Once in recovery we had over an hour of skin to skin with our son.  He latched perfectly right away and nursed with no issue.  Ahh the smell and deliciousness of a fresh baby is just the most amazing thing ever.  I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Recovery was much quicker this time also.  Without the prior 20+ hours of labour my body seems to have healed faster.

Now for the bad parts.  I really don’t react well to any type of anesthetic.  The spinal made me horribly nauseated, and I was unable to eat or drink anything for about 20hours after surgery.  I just couldn’t hold water down.  And the itching.  I couldn’t stop that.  But unlike at Johannes’ birth I was aware of Magnus’.  I savoured every minute and was able to really focus on him and his sweetness.

I am so grateful to have this little in my life, and to have been able to carry him to term and beyond.  I have no regrets, no guilt, just joy and admiration for what a mom’s body can do to produce a human life.  I think the key for me was not having too many expectations of myself.  Letting the pregnancy dictate the outcome, while taking into account the risks to both mine and my baby’s health.

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