Quality Time at the Fall Fair

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As I sit here on my bed, listening to Magnus absolutely positively REFUSING to nap, feeling all kinds of frustrated.  Anxiety running through my veins at 20 mph.  This is my reality more often than not lately.  Its not just the naps, its also the frustrations that come with a baby who can walk but can’t communicate yet.  Who only partially understands what’s being said to him but also is curious about the world around him.  All amazing wonderful things!  BUT.  there is a BUT.  My frustration is there too, present more often than not and it manifests itself into how I treat Johannes and Michael too.

They’re older, I expect them to understand me, to help more.  Yet when I really think about it that’s not fair either.  Johannes is older than his brother, but he’s only 4 after all.  He’s very bright and articulate and sometimes I put unrealistic expectations on him to help more and do everything perfectly.  Not fair at all.  So the last couple of months I’ve been trying to do more fun things, quality time with just Johannes and Michael.  Magnus is lucky to spend some quality time with his grandparents and Michael, Johannes and I get to do fun things just us three too.  I want him to feel like a kid, to remember he’s important even through those frustrating days at home, when maybe I’m not as patient as I should be.  Its not the perfect parenting methodology, but its what our reality is now.

The Acton Fall Fair happened a few weekends ago.  We headed out early in the morning.  Ate corn dogs, watched the dog show, played with goats and pigs and sheep.  Participated in carnival games and won stuffed minions. We had a blast!  Johannes had a blast!  Now, two weeks later he still talks about it and asks when we can go again.  Next up maybe we’ll start doing a mom-Johannes skating date on Friday nights, or something equally fun that only us two can do together.

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Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries: Celebration

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Before I became a mom  “celebrating” something almost always meant birthdays, weddings, showers, champagne or cake… or often both.  I used to take on the entire month of February as my personal “birthday month”.  I planned elaborate fetes to celebrate special milestones.

And then Johannes came.  His due date fell on my birthday but the day came and went without his arrival.  But the day that he was born was the ultimate celebration.  I will never be able to replicate that moment, or for that matter the moment when his little brother Magnus was born either.

I can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment when celebrations took on a new meaning, but somewhere along the road of motherhood it has.  Celebrations now means simply enjoying the little things.  A BBQ picnic outside in the back yard, pizza dates on a Friday, running through the sprinklers because the sun is shinning.

I feel like I am a daily cheerleader now.  I celebrate everything and anything that my boys achieve, from crawling to first words.  Birthdays are still wildly important of course, especially those of my boys. Their birthdays are now a celebration of the lives I have helped to shape and create, rather than “just a day for being another year older”.  I often can’t believe I have two little boys to love and raise.  We get to have little parties for them all the time and watch them get excited and demand 3 cupcakes only to lick the icing off the top and nothing else.

And Magnus, oh sweet Magnus is almost 1.  Less then three months until his first birthday and its a big one.  Every day he learns something new, discovers interesting things and crosses a new milestone.  His little legs are becoming more and more stable and strong, preparing him to take those first uneasy steps.  The first year is by far the most amazing to me and we make sure to celebrate it all along the way with him.

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This is my second entry for the Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries vol VI.  You can read my other posts here. // In this post I’m wearing the Simple Silk Baby Sling in Malbec.


Rub-a-dub-dub Baby in the Tub + a Printer Giveaway


Ok so I’m not always good at staging photos of the kids, mostly because my kids don’t cooperate, but also because I generally like to capture them in the natural moment.

However this past weekend I really wanted a few photos of Magnus in the tub.  He’s now sitting up so nicely and looks ridiculously cute in all his chubby glory.  Our tiny bathroom is dark and dingy.  Trying to get a good shot of anyone in there is difficult.  So I decided to stage it in the comfort of our own bedroom, on a cold and rainy Sunday.

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For this shoot I followed along with one of Canon’s Plan Your Baby Moments tips specific to Magnus’ age.  Although I’ve been photographing my kids for years, I feel like I hit a bit of a rut with my photography lately, so it was nice to get inspired again as I tried to recreate one of the moments featured on the site.  The Plan Your Baby Moments site started out as a Facebook App, as some of you who’ve followed me for some time will know.  I am huge fan of the app, but now Canon has made it even easier for moms and dad’s to turn their own photographs of their kids into professional looking captures with both inspiration and professional advice from baby photographer Stephanie Robin.  I get asked so many questions about how I photograph my kids, and ideas and inspiration etc, and now its all in one site making it super easy for anyone to access.


For my own little shoot I first of all turned up the heat in the house, as it was a chilly damp day.  Then I followed  Stephanie’s advice about how to set up the shot, which you can do as well when you select the 6-9month milestone category.  I used my Canon SL1 with my EF 50mm f/1.8 ll to take all the photographs.  The props were pretty easy to gather up and you can find similar items here.  Magnus cooperated about half the time, enough for me to capture a few cute shots of his smily face.  But the out-takes are pretty precious too don’t you think?!

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Also!  Similar to last year I’m giving away a Canon SELPHY CP910 so you can print your gorgeous shots anywhere any time! All you have to do is follow me on Facebook and leave a comment below telling me you entered. Easy peasy.  I’ll announce the winner on June 16 when I’ll also show you how easy it is for one of my friends, also a mom, to take photos of her new little babe using the Plan Your Baby Moments site!

**This post was created in partnership with Canon Canada.  As always thank you for supporting our sponsors who make this blog possible.


Attachment Issues


Yoli+Otis wrap found here

I came to realize today that I have attachment issues.  My attachment issues don’t stem from tangible things, pets, food, family members.  Instead I am attached to memories.

I was presented with an interesting opportunity and it made me reflect on the things I hold most dear to me aside from the obvious.  As it turns out I am deeply attached to photos I take, not for what they are but rather for their role as keepers of memories and emotions.

They’re little milestones in my life and that of my family.  I lived them, I captured them, and I hold them dear.  I suppose it sounds weird coming from a mom who blogs her children’s lives on the internet, who has a public Instagram account and a kids shop.  But often I forget who reads my blog, or Instagram, or shops in my store.  I often feel like I do it all just for me and my photos are my own.  Personal.  My own little world.

I like to look at my photos and remember how I felt in that moment.  How a flower smelled, or how my pistachio ice cream tasted.  The giggle that Johannes made or the squeal that came before Magnus’ belly laugh.  They’re my life online, but my life none-the-less.  Some people journal, I don’t.  I take photos and blog.  Although I’ve posted over five thousand images on Instagram alone, and likely more on this blog here those are a curated selection.  For every image I post I wish I could post five more.  I have the toughest time  selecting what to share, because I love them all, and each memory is special to me.  It sounds weird, I know.

Its confusing.  I’m still confused.  Unsure of what course to take with the opportunity I referenced earlier and which I can’t quite talk about. But that’s life right?  No easy pathways or clear courses.  We work our way through windy tunnels and hope to find a little light at the very end.

So with that all being said, here are just a few of the 200 photos I took this weekend with my family.

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why I don’t want Magnus to sleep through the night


Almost every mom or dad I know has one goal, to get their baby to sleep through the night.  And at one time I did too.  When Johannes was little, this was my goal.  I couldn’t wait for him to sleep through the night so I could rest.

But things are different now.  Being a mom of a four year old taught me just how fast time passes.

With Magnus I’m not in a hurry to have him sleep without interruptions.  At night he wakes up and wants to nurse.  I hear him cry, I rub my eyes awake, pull up my hair, and tiptoe down the hall to his room.  I pick him up and sit down in the old chair in his room.  He nurses quietly but quickly.  When he’s done, he pulls off, lays his head down on the nursing pillow and snuggles into me.  I let him stay like this a few minutes before giving his little cheeks kisses and putting him back in his crib.  They are fleeting moments these night nursings.

Tonight when Magnus cried out for me earlier than usual I thought about him sleeping through the night, and though the sleep would be nice after all, I have a choice to make.  And I choose to get up every night, sleepy and only half awake.  Make my way down the hall to his tiny room and cuddle him like he needs to be cuddled.  There are worst things in life than being wanted by your kids.

Asking For Help


Early Thursday morning I woke up feeling different.  The pain in my stomach quickly turned into nausea, and the slight chill I had been feeling evolved into a full blown fever.  I had the stomach flu.  At 32 years old, I experienced my first ever stomach flu, and it was awful.

At 4:30am Magnus woke up to eat and it took everything in me to get through that nursing session without vomiting.  I was ill.  Brutally ill.  I quickly told Michael that I suspected I had food poisoning and asked him to stay home to help me.  I made a half attempt to message my coworkers and let them know I wouldn’t be available that day, and proceeded to get through the next 10 hours in a state of constant sleep interrupted only by trips to the toilet.

Did I mention it was bad?

Somehow I managed to nurse Magnus during the day but I don’t remember it much.  By 1pm I was feeling well enough to call my mom and ask her to come over and help me pack Johannes’ clothes for his trip, and also to have him sleep at my parents’ house on the chance that the next day I wouldn’t be fit to drive him.

I asked for help. I reached out.  It was the best decision I made.

Mom’s often don’t ask for help enough.  As thought its a badge of honour to trudge through life battling the impossible and making it out with battle scars to prove just how worthy we are at motherhood.  I fell into the same traps when I had Johannes, but I’ve learned.  Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, its a sign of having an amazing support system around me. Its a sign that I care enough to take care of myself so that I can be the best mother I can be to my children.  Its also a way to show these boys that its ok to be vulnerable, to ask for help and to receive it when the time comes.

I thought of all this last week, as I lay in bed, wishing I hadn’t eaten that leftover piece of salmon from the fridge.  We are not alone, us moms, and we don’t have to do it ALL on our own.

**the photos are completely unrelated to my experience, just some bits and pieces of my life this week that I want to remember just so.**

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