As I sit here on my bed, listening to Magnus absolutely positively REFUSING to nap, feeling all kinds of frustrated. Anxiety running through my veins at 20 mph. This is my reality more often than not lately. Its not just the naps, its also the frustrations that come with a baby who can walk but can’t communicate yet. Who only partially understands what’s being said to him but also is curious about the world around him. All amazing wonderful things! BUT. there is a BUT. My frustration is there too, present more often than not and it manifests itself into how I treat Johannes and Michael too.
They’re older, I expect them to understand me, to help more. Yet when I really think about it that’s not fair either. Johannes is older than his brother, but he’s only 4 after all. He’s very bright and articulate and sometimes I put unrealistic expectations on him to help more and do everything perfectly. Not fair at all. So the last couple of months I’ve been trying to do more fun things, quality time with just Johannes and Michael. Magnus is lucky to spend some quality time with his grandparents and Michael, Johannes and I get to do fun things just us three too. I want him to feel like a kid, to remember he’s important even through those frustrating days at home, when maybe I’m not as patient as I should be. Its not the perfect parenting methodology, but its what our reality is now.
The Acton Fall Fair happened a few weekends ago. We headed out early in the morning. Ate corn dogs, watched the dog show, played with goats and pigs and sheep. Participated in carnival games and won stuffed minions. We had a blast! Johannes had a blast! Now, two weeks later he still talks about it and asks when we can go again. Next up maybe we’ll start doing a mom-Johannes skating date on Friday nights, or something equally fun that only us two can do together.