Channelling my Inner Gwen Stefani

IMG_1317 IMG_1327 IMG_1300 IMG_1360 IMG_1362 IMG_1333 on me | Birkenstock Arizona sandals, Pink Stitch dress – - on him | Jcrew tank, Zara shorts, Blue Jay’s hat, Native shoes

Well ok, maybe a less svelte version of Gwen, but I wanted a change and I made it.  No mom haircut for me, just a potentially high maintenance color choice,which for now I’m super excited for.

In other news we’re headed out to the lake this weekend, for our one and only “staycation” this year.  The last time we spent time in Muskoka, Johannes was about 14 months old and so so tiny.  I can’t even believe its been two years and he’s growing into such a big boy.  I cannot wait!

 

Roasted Butternut Squash and Chickpea Salad

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I had a major craving for something healthy and full of vitamins this weekend.  We knew that Sunday my parents would be coming over for a BBQ so I started thinking what I wanted to eat alongside the grilled chicken.  I decided to try a roasted squash salad, but I especially wanted to use butternut squash, since its my favourite.  I wasn’t completely sure what spices I wanted to use or what I would put into it but after browsing our garden it suddenly all came together.  The results were even better than I expected.  The flavours of the squash really came out while it was roasting, and mixed in with fresh spices it worked great as a side dish.

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Here’s how I you can make it too.

 

Ingredients

1/2 butternut squash, peeled, cubed

1 red or yellow bell pepper, cubed in rough pieces

1 small can of chickpeas, rinsed and drained

2 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp turmeric

1 tsp paprika

handful of fresh basil washed and chopped

about 3 tsp fresh parsley washed and chopped

3 tsp fresh chives washed and chopped

pinch of sea salt

pepper to taste

 

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  In the meantime prep your  squash and spices.  Toss together the peppers and squash with olive oil, salt and pepper.  Put in a baking dish and sprinkle with cinnamon and paprika.  Bake for about 30-40minutes taking the squash out every 10minutes to mix.  Bake until the corners are slightly brown and a fork easily pierces through the squash.  Take out and cool for about 15minutes.  Toss together with remaining ingredients.  You can serve it immediately or let refrigerate it and serve later.

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Currently Loving this Documentary

I’ve always loved documentaries and since getting Netflix they’re pretty much all I watch….those and of course Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown.

Twenty Feet from Stardom is one of my top 5 all time favourite documentaries and swimming at the top of the pack right now.  This film focusing on some of the iconic background singers of our time, artists who really are iconic define many songs of our century, and most of whom we don’t even know.  It was inspiring and a pleasure to watch.  So if you have some time this weekend make it a point to see it!  I promise you’ll love it.

a little update

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Today Johannes, my mom and I went to see my OB.  YES I brought an entourage, normally I do tend to do these appointments on my own, but since I knew we were doing an ultrasound I wanted them to see the newest member of our family too.

And good news, little boy flipped head down!  Which explains the intense pressure and pain I felt last night.  Regardless, I am glad he’s got himself into position and to celebrate I bought myself my first pair of real headphones.  I don’t know if it will make a difference in any way, but the one thing I wish I had brought with me to the hospital the first time around, was music.  It seem maybe like a no brainer, but somehow music slipped my mind.  I like to zone out to music and my own thoughts, so I am hoping to use it as a form of meditation, should I go into natural labour…or simply as a way to kill time when baby and Michael are sleeping if a repeat c-section is in my future.

So there it is.  34 weeks.  A head down, cantaloupe-sized baby.  Now we wait.

34 week update

no such thing as the “best way” in motherhood

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I feel like when you become a mother you suddenly get bombarded with ideas and opinions on “the best way” to mother.  The best way to feed your baby.  The best way for them to sleep.  The best way to give birth.

I think its all rather irrelevant in the greater scheme of mothering, which as far as I can tell…lasts a lifetime..

Breast vs bottle.  Attachment parenting.  Co-sleeping.  CIO.  They’re choices we make as parents.  But do they yield a better bond, a better future for our children if we chose one over the other?  I don’t know that they do.  For me they don’t matter.

To me there’s no such thing as the best way to mother a child.  For the most part we do the best we can with what we have, and the information we are given.  But I think the guilt of thinking perhaps we made a mistake in how we raise our kids can leave a lasting impact.

I’m completely guilty of all of this.  I too used to think that there was a “right and wrong way” to do certain things.  I suppose that is why I felt so much guilt after I had Johannes via emergency c-section.

But its changing.  With this pregnancy I was hoping to have a VBAC.  But not because I wanted to prove something to myself, or anyone else for that matter.  I wanted a VBAC because the doctor advised me that it was the safest thing to do.  Now I face the prospect of another c-section.  This little boy is breech.  I get to have an ultrasound tomorrow to check and make sure that all is ok, and then I’m free to try various exercises and massages to try and flip him into position.  Even then there is a 50% chance that he won’t flip.

I thought I would be more or less upset about it but I’m not.  I guess I feel somewhat indifferent.  My goal is to have a healthy baby and the means by which he lands in my arms is not as important to me right now.  I look at Johannes and how he’s grown and I feel proud.  I know that some of this is as a result of my parenting, even if its only a small part.  I don’t think I would be any closer to him had I had a natural birth, a water birth, a vaginal birth.  Its just a product of our relationship and our connection is organic.

I nursed Johannes for a year, but before he was born I was dead set against nursing.  I didn’t think it was for me.  I thought it would feel unnatural.  And who knows, maybe the second time around I won’t want to, or maybe I won’t be able to nurse.  But I know with certainty that I will love this little boy just as much as I love Johannes.  So as moms we just do our very best.

I’d love to hear your thoughts?  Have you ever been made to feel like maybe your choices as a mom weren’t the right ones?

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Stripes and More Stripes

pregnancy striped maxi skirt pregnancy striped maxi skirt pregnancy striped maxi skirt pregnancy striped maxi skirt pregnancy striped maxi skirt JCrew skirt & vest // Target tank // Aritzia hat // Rebecca Minkoff bag & sandals (old)

I am admitting that I have a problem with stripes.  On babies, baby bumps, toddlers…I don’t discriminate, I LOVE striped clothing.  I am also getting down to the wire now, 34 weeks into my pregnancy, head first into the 9th inning, not much fits other than stretchy dresses, skirts and leggings, so I’m layering a lot to try and make up for perhaps wearing the same skirt or pants 5 days in a row.  I am wondering in another few weeks what, if anything at all, will actually fit me. I guess we’ll see!